Love at first site

 
I’VE got a new spin for you, said my friend. Try this internet dating site, she said. I’ve had lots of replies, she said
Buoyed by her success story, I entered my details (or at least details not too dissimilar to mine), pressed ‘submit’ and waited.
While I was online I had a look at the potential suitors, offering their ‘not too dissimilar’ profiles for my perusal. I’m a ‘go for a nice personality’ kinda gal, but I must admit I only looked at those with photos.
I’m thinking because she lives in a larger area, she had a bigger bunch to pick the best from, so I wasn’t too surprised by the selection offered up to me.
I am a great believer that a man should approach a woman, so despite seeing a few that took my fancy, I quit the site and waited once again.
It was with delight that I opened my e-mailbox the following day to find a message from the site. She had said it was good, but not that good.
Believe me when I say I am used to rejection. To be rejected from an online dating site before my profile was even featured is taking the biscuit.
Reading on, I found it was because I’d made a grammatical mistake writing my own name (well, my assumed name for this experiment). After the humiliation, I couldn’t bear to reapply, playing the ‘it’s only for desperate people’ card, while still keeping it close to my chest, and quit the site.
I’m back to the whole ‘there’s no hope for me’ state of mind. I’m all for fate, and coincidences and love at first sight, so when I stumbled across another site on my way out of ‘dating for the desperate’, my bubbles started to rise to the surface once more.
“By learning about the personalities and love lives of our inner goddess, we can be more intuitive about our own romantic relationships.” Apparently.
After taking the ‘Which Goddess are you’ test, I’ve discovered I am Demeter, goddess of agriculture and fertility, with a little bit of the love, beauty and sexual rapture of Aphrodite thrown in.
According to expert Agapi Stassinopoulos, this means that while I feel the need to care for others, my own needs often are not met and I must learn to say no. The Aphrodite part means men are drawn to me (no mention of them being the wrong ones!), however I tend not to form permanent attachments to lovers.
To me, this means I need to find either a farmer or a gynaecologist, but no — a Hermes man is my best bet — ‘charming, childlike and seductive, rather like Hugh Grant’.
Again, I quit the site, after reading the ‘childlike reference’. On a night out in a city of about six million people, the first person I met was hotty young boy from last year — you know the one who throws drinks at concerts? — a little too childlike for my liking.
This is the second time I’ve just happened to bump into him. It wasn’t fate so much as my past coming back to haunt me. If it had been Hugh Grant I wouldn’t have minded as much. The thing is he seemed EVEN younger this time, which is silly as he was almost a year older. Unfortunately, so was I.
One thing I am a strong believer in is love at first sight, having been witness to it on several occasions.
One such magical moment was seven years ago, sitting on a tumble dryer in communal drying room at college, when my favourite ex walked in.
Another was when I met someone fairly recently, who shall remain nameless, who I’d only previously spoken to on the phone. That wasn’t so much love as a potential love.
But it does exist — and researchers at Ohio State University have the proof.
Professor Ramirez says: “Earlier research had assumed there was a cumulative effect that happens in the first days of meeting that helps determine how relationships will develop. But we are finding that it all happens much sooner than that — literally within a few minutes”.
They didn’t mention anything about a cumulative effect lasting seven years, but there’s still hope. He is a Hermes man after all.
Findings of a compatibility report: “These two make a delightful duo. They have distinctive understanding of each other’s dreams and desires. You don’t have to dig too deep to see why this relationship is so right. Cancerians believe that home is where the heart is and Scorpios need loyalty which they can get in masses from their Cancerian counterparts.” It’s written in the stars.