Mad about the boys

 
THE VERY high ‘take-my-breath-away’ film star pedestal which Owen Wilson has been casually sprawled out on over the last year has been sensationally rocked.
The Starsky and Hutch star did have the unique and inexplicable power to have me sliding down my seat, squealing (as my viewing companions can testify when we Met the Fockers) every time he appeared on the screen. Those one-liners, that Southern drawl, and those eyes were all accelerators to the dangerous speed of my heart.
Some came close — Hugh Grant for instance, in the Bridget movies, and About a Boy. Oh and Love Actually, (well just Hugh Grant really), and Colin ‘I like you, just the way you are’ Firth.
Now Wilson has some serious competition. Yes, I came, I saw and he conquered — ‘The Wedding Date’ is on my stairway to heaven, and climbing.
For those of you who are not familiar with Dermot Mulroney, you are seriously missing out. In his new movie, The Wedding Date, there are at least two of the aforementioned ‘sliding down my seat, squealing’ moments, which I am not going to ruin for you here in print.
I have to warn you, these specific two lines would almost never be taken seriously if they weren’t being uttered by an utterly gorgeous actor, so lap it up.
Someone recently spun a similar line to me, and however sincere it was meant to be, it was filed under ‘disregard and discard’.
To give you an idea, they are the type of things you hear when you fall in love when you’re drunk. Or the ‘you had to be there’ or ‘I know it sounds cliche BUT’ things you fail miserably when reiterating to sceptical listeners, who weren’t there.
He also played the best friend of the wedding kind in the Julia Roberts film of the same name, and appeared as Rachel’s colleague Gavin in a few Friends episodes. So if you’re sitting in the cinema this week, thinking ‘what was he on?’ you heard it here first. I guarantee you’ll leave wondering what he’ll be on in the future.
Dermot also impresses because he can sing and he can dance. These are two things my circle of friends find attractive in a man, as well as good teeth and tidy finger nails. He is also one of Brad Pitt’s best friends. What more can you ask for?
When I asked one of my friends what they liked to see in a man, she replied: “That they are breathing.”
It makes me wonder if men have the same type of basics that we have to adhere to before they look any further. I know some who have bra size specifications, body shape (whether big or small), and even hair colour preferences.
It’s just a shame that you have to get so far down the line with someone before you realise that the ‘good personality’ you were attracted to had a use-by date.
I asked my favourite ex what he looked for in a woman. I won’t tell you the first bit of his reply, but this followed: “Everyone is different, but mostly I think being funny, sexy and not scared to get the pints in. Oh, and sympathetic to our egos.”
That basically covers every single girl I know, so there must be something we’re doing wrong! Something I’m doing wrong! I wish a little fairy would come and set us straight.
Talking of my favourite ex, and did you really think I’d get through a column without doing so, we’ve finally set a date.
Now, before you go running out to buy the hat, Mama, I mean only for the ‘boys’ weekend we’ve been planning since the beginning of time. Numbers have depleted however, and now it is only me, him and his best friend so that should be interesting.
I’m trying to push myself to find someone else, basically to prove that there is someone else out there who isn’t him, that I could love. I’m starting young because I know it will take some time. He’s my compatible comparative companion; everyone else has to measure up to him.
The weekend we have planned will be the ultimate test. The unwitting best friend has managed to find the smallest form of accommodation in the world in one of the most rural parts of Scotland. And there will be alcohol.
He’s going to have to like my ‘good personality’ and lump it; you can’t exactly go on a ‘boys’ weekend with the entire contents of your make-up drawer and your straighteners. Can you?