Mad about the boys

 
THE VERY high ‘take-my-breath-away’ film star pedestal which Owen Wilson has been casually sprawled out on over the last year has been sensationally rocked.
The Starsky and Hutch star did have the unique and inexplicable power to have me sliding down my seat, squealing (as my viewing companions can testify when we Met the Fockers) every time he appeared on the screen. Those one-liners, that Southern drawl, and those eyes were all accelerators to the dangerous speed of my heart.
Some came close — Hugh Grant for instance, in the Bridget movies, and About a Boy. Oh and Love Actually, (well just Hugh Grant really), and Colin ‘I like you, just the way you are’ Firth.
Now Wilson has some serious competition. Yes, I came, I saw and he conquered — ‘The Wedding Date’ is on my stairway to heaven, and climbing.
For those of you who are not familiar with Dermot Mulroney, you are seriously missing out. In his new movie, The Wedding Date, there are at least two of the aforementioned ‘sliding down my seat, squealing’ moments, which I am not going to ruin for you here in print.
I have to warn you, these specific two lines would almost never be taken seriously if they weren’t being uttered by an utterly gorgeous actor, so lap it up.
Someone recently spun a similar line to me, and however sincere it was meant to be, it was filed under ‘disregard and discard’.
To give you an idea, they are the type of things you hear when you fall in love when you’re drunk. Or the ‘you had to be there’ or ‘I know it sounds cliche BUT’ things you fail miserably when reiterating to sceptical listeners, who weren’t there.
He also played the best friend of the wedding kind in the Julia Roberts film of the same name, and appeared as Rachel’s colleague Gavin in a few Friends episodes. So if you’re sitting in the cinema this week, thinking ‘what was he on?’ you heard it here first. I guarantee you’ll leave wondering what he’ll be on in the future.
Dermot also impresses because he can sing and he can dance. These are two things my circle of friends find attractive in a man, as well as good teeth and tidy finger nails. He is also one of Brad Pitt’s best friends. What more can you ask for?
When I asked one of my friends what they liked to see in a man, she replied: “That they are breathing.”
It makes me wonder if men have the same type of basics that we have to adhere to before they look any further. I know some who have bra size specifications, body shape (whether big or small), and even hair colour preferences.
It’s just a shame that you have to get so far down the line with someone before you realise that the ‘good personality’ you were attracted to had a use-by date.
I asked my favourite ex what he looked for in a woman. I won’t tell you the first bit of his reply, but this followed: “Everyone is different, but mostly I think being funny, sexy and not scared to get the pints in. Oh, and sympathetic to our egos.”
That basically covers every single girl I know, so there must be something we’re doing wrong! Something I’m doing wrong! I wish a little fairy would come and set us straight.
Talking of my favourite ex, and did you really think I’d get through a column without doing so, we’ve finally set a date.
Now, before you go running out to buy the hat, Mama, I mean only for the ‘boys’ weekend we’ve been planning since the beginning of time. Numbers have depleted however, and now it is only me, him and his best friend so that should be interesting.
I’m trying to push myself to find someone else, basically to prove that there is someone else out there who isn’t him, that I could love. I’m starting young because I know it will take some time. He’s my compatible comparative companion; everyone else has to measure up to him.
The weekend we have planned will be the ultimate test. The unwitting best friend has managed to find the smallest form of accommodation in the world in one of the most rural parts of Scotland. And there will be alcohol.
He’s going to have to like my ‘good personality’ and lump it; you can’t exactly go on a ‘boys’ weekend with the entire contents of your make-up drawer and your straighteners. Can you?

Otherwise engaged

IF I told you I’d spent the last week steaming and stripping in a chemical-induced haze, don’t get the wrong idea.
Being the DIY diva that I like to think I am, I was first in line to help my mum move, and transform her dull new dwelling into chez chic. It was more DIY SOS than 60 minute makeover in the end, but we’re getting there.
I spent most of the time on a step ladder, with no two legs the same length, and running up and down two sets of stairs with heavy boxes.
I really was glad to get back to work this morning for a rest!
Painting the skirting boards of five large rooms, twice, certainly does give you time to mull over whatever is on your mind, as it is literally as exciting as watching paint dry.
My favourite ex is still single (and still my favourite) and has realised that he is so much better off without his most recent ex. Something, I hasten to add that everyone told him quite a while ago — sometimes you just have to let people get there themselves.
Every time he leaves the house his mum’s parting words are: “Don’t fall in love”.
We’re still talking about the ‘bachelor break’ we’ve been planning, as a send off for our soon-to-be teacher friend, for the last few months. As yet there are no firm plans, and I suppose it will all hinge on girlfriend status, so nothing is certain.
I’ve been invited to Spain again in September with his family, but I’ll hold off on packing my sunglasses and bikini just yet — my place was taken by his ex last year.
We’ve been getting on a lot better again recently, because there isn’t the tension of asking how he is without sounding like I have an ulterior motive.
So, we’re both single again. I hate it when it’s like this as it’s just a matter of time before one of us finds someone else who is not the other one.
I was having a chat with my best friend the other night, talking about love, life and everything. She just wants someone to come home to (who isn’t her moody flatmate), someone to hug her when she needs one (who isn’t just a friend) and someone “to wipe away the insecurities of life”.
But the problem facing her, and I would think all other singletons, is where to find this person, and when to find time for them. Her social life is more hectic than mine!
We both agreed that the place we’d like to find them was at home waiting with a romantic meal for two, ready with a hug and an insecurity blanket.
At the moment, I’m thinking that my attitude to men is that of my attitude to babies. I love them dearly, and would love one of my own, but until then it’s good to hand them back when you get fed up with them.
I can’t wait to see the Wedding Date, where Debra Messing (Will’s Grace) hires the gorgeous Dermot Mulroney to go to her sister’s wedding with her. As far as I know they fall in love and live happily ever after.
I’m thinking my next date won’t end up the same. I’ve ‘hired’ someone to be my plus one at a forthcoming wedding. Life does imitate art, but I’m not holding out for the ‘just like the movies’ ending in this case — his fiancée is currently planning place settings and bridesmaid bouquets for their own nuptials.
I’ve also made a new friend in my brother’s ‘is she, isn’t she’ girlfriend. For the record she isn’t — they’re ‘just good friends’.
It scares me to say we are so similar, especially when I know that she is likes my brother, and worse that he likes her. The very fact that my little brother is romantically inclined to anyone scares me but then I remember it could be worse — I’d already met and fallen in love with my favourite ex by that point and look where that’s got me!
At the moment I’m taking one day at a time, trying to spend as much time with the people I love, and have loved, and basically just have as much fun as possible without worrying about ‘what ifs’ and ‘whens’.
I have a busy social calendar lined up, which is half full rather than half empty and things are looking good.
It just shows: “If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time”.